urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dj_dopey dj_dopey dj_dopey 2007-01-11T19:42:23Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dj_dopey:5247 2007-01-11T19:42:23Z 2007-01-11T19:42:23Z Hey all. Okay so I know posts about dreams you've had are really annoying and nobody ever reads them, but I just have to get this one out of me. I had it last night and it creeped me out so much. I keep thinking it's real.<br /><br />So, it all took place in my house, but it was kind of like Haverford too, like a big dorm and tons of kids lived in it, including Eric and a few of my friends (my room was still my room though). So, Eric and I were just hanging out doing regular type stuff, and Byron (our friend from school) came in and asked to talk to Eric privately. 20 minutes went by and this didn't seem normal so I went out to find them and it turns out they had gone to the campus bookstore and were FUCKING EACH OTHER. Yes, full blown gay sex. In the bookstore behind a bunch of used textbooks. And if that wasn't weird enough, they were both wearing enormous animal slippers. :S<br /><br />I pull him away and find out that he was enjoying himself. I am upset and confused and we go to my room to talk about stuff, and as we're about to get there, Eric ALL OF A SUDDEN in the blink of an eye changes into PIMP CLOTHES. Yes, in case you were wondering, a pimp hat, a purple zebra skin coat, and a cane are involved. And he goes "yo, ima go downstairs to play a pimpin' video game". Eric hates video games. He goes downstairs and there are all these nasty drunk high school kids playing this porno video game and he's so into it and I'm left all alone in my room. Then there was this whole part about these circus duck-chimps but I won't go into that. <br /><br />Anyway, I've been creeped out all day. I made the mistake of telling Eric about it when he called and now he's SO upset. He's all upset because I projected all these terrible things, all together onto HIM in my dream and he thinks that I subconciously hate him or something. Because he sure as hell isn't into gay sex, he hates video games and he definitely hates pimp clothes. I don't know. Just ew. I hope you all enjoyed my sexy dream! :) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dj_dopey:5073 2007-01-02T20:28:30Z 2007-01-02T20:28:30Z <a name="cutid1"></a> <br /><br />[ ] Became single <br />[x] got kissed<br />[ ] kissed someone new <br />[x] kissed in the snow<br />[x] kissed in the rain<br />[x] kissed on the beach<br />[x] fell in love<br />[ ] fell in love with a fool <br />[ ] had my heart broken<br /><br />[ ] broke someone else's heart<br />[ ] had a stalker <br />[x] lost a friend<br />[x] had a good relationship with someone<br />[x] questioned my sexual orientation<br />[ ] came out of my closet<br />[ ] got married<br />[ ] had a divorce<br />[ ] kissed someone of the same sex<br />[x] dated someone that I will never forget<br />[x] did something I regret<br />[ ] lost faith in love<br />[ ] kissed under mistletoe<br />[ ] got a promotion<br />[ ] got a pay raise<br />[ ] changed jobs<br />[ ] quit my job<br />[ ] dated a co-worker<br />[ ] dated my boss<br />[ ] dated my boss's son/ daughter<br />[ ] got fired from my job<br />[ ] got straight A's <br />[ ] met a teacher who I became friends with<br />[ ] met a teacher who I really hate<br />[x] found the subject I love<br />[x] failed a class<br />[x] cut class<br />[x] skipped school<br />[ ] got in a fight with a classmate<br />[x] did something I was proud of <br />[x] discovered a new talent<br />[x] proved to myself that I'm an idiot<br />[x] embarrassed myself in front of the class<br />[ ] fell in love with a teacher <br />[ ] got the lead role in the school play<br />[ ] made a team<br />[x] was involved in something that I will never forget<br />[ ] painted a picture<br />[ ] wrote a poem<br />[x] ran a mile<br />[x] listened to music I couldn't stand<br />[x] double dipped<br />[ ] went to a sleepover<br />[ ] went to camp<br />[ ] threw a surprise party<br />[x] laughed till I cried<br />[ ] flirted<br />[x] visited a foreign country<br />[x] visited a state<br />[x] cooked a disastrous meal<br />[x] lost something important to me<br />[x] got a gift I love<br />[x] realized something new about myself<br />[x] Went on a diet<br />[ OMG YES ] tried to gain weight<br />[ ] dyed my hair<br />[ ] came close to losing my life<br />[ ] someone/thing close to me died<br />[ ] got arrested<br />[x] read a great book<br />[x] saw a great movie<br />[ ] saw a movie so scary that it made me cry<br />[ ] saw a favorite band live<br />[x] did something that I wanted to tell everyone<br />[x] experienced something new<br />[ ] made new friends<br />[x] found out who your real friends are<br />[x] lied to your parents<br />[ ] snuck out<br />[ ] got in trouble with a po-po<br />[x] kissed in a pool<br />[x] kissed under the stars<br />[x] had the time of your life<br />[x] danced<br />[ ] fell out of love<br />[xxx] had a crush on someone<br />[x] swam in a pool<br />[ ] made a snowman<br />[x] went snowboarding<br />[x] went sledding<br />[ ] slept in past 2pm<br />[x] held someone's hand that you care about<br />[x] got wasted in a public place<br />[ ] told someone you like them as more than a friend<br />[x] gone on vacation<br />[ ] gone on vacation with a friend<br />[x] driven a car<br />[ ] danced in the rain<br />[ ] got in a car accident<br />[ ] seen someone get in a car accident<br />[ ] got in a fist fight<br />[x] laughed until you couldn't breathe<br />[x] missed someone<br />[ ] sent someone to the hospital<br />[ ] got a new pet<br /><br /> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dj_dopey:4706 2006-11-26T05:34:25Z 2006-11-26T23:26:47Z HEY GUYZZZZ i'm b-back, and d-drunk.<br /><br />I'm so over this eating crap. I feel like a fucking fool sometimes doing the shit I do; yet I love it and wouldn't give it up if it meant being fat. Silly silly. Wouldn't it be great to eat too much pizza one night and the next day think "I'll eat a little healthier today" or "I'll work out a bit longer this time"? But my eating crap is so entangled with how I suck balls, and at this point it'd be more difficult to remove the eating disorder from the picture than to live with it. So for now, I'll continue to binge on this ice cream and toast and eat nothing tomorrow. At least I have something constructive to focus my energy on. At least I can impact the world in some way, even if it's just with my substance and the amount of space it takes up. Peace out, fatties. Sometimes I want to die. But it's the seahorses and ripples in the earth and shades of blue that keep me here. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dj_dopey:4508 2006-11-26T04:23:03Z 2006-11-26T04:23:03Z Don't you just love it when in films they replace "god damn" with "dog gone"? I do I do! In other news, white wine is so much better than red. My parents are so drunk they didn't even notice that I opened a second bottle and took half of it. They're finishing it off right now. <br /><br />I'm waiting to find out if I get back into Haverford for next semester. Leaving that place marked the biggest tragedy my life has seen. Everything for me was there, and still is and I constantly feel like there's a huge chunk of me missing, lurking in a hallway or a kitchen at my old college. I was going to say classroom but...hah. I really do think I'm going to do well this time, though. I know I've said it countless times, and I know nobody else believes me, but I just want another chance. My parents hold it over my head every hour of every day. I can't even watch tv without my mom telling me that I'm sitting on the couch because I've failed one too many times. <br /><br />My life is over there. My love, my friends, my comfort, my fun. I love Vancouver but really, I don't do a thing with myself here. I close up and my personality dissolves. I like myself over there; I open up, I think, I do drugs, I find things out about myself and the world, I learn. I feel like a real, credible, only sort of fucked up person. Even my eating didn't seem to matter much when I was out there. I've been gone for so long. My life has been so shitty in the year or so I've been away that I really think I'll appreciate what I have over there...I think I'll do well. <br /><br />Got prescribed anti-depressants yesterday; my dad's picking them up from the drug store right now. I don't think I'm going to take them, though. They take three weeks to reach the "threshold level" and I'm horrible at remembering to take pills anyway. That's why I like real drugs because you can generally feel them immediately. Sometimes it's nice to feel things for a change. Things that seem real because they noteably change how your body and mind feel. I mean that's not really why I generally do drugs...only when I'm depressed and looney. I hate saying "do drugs" because it makes it seem like I do them all the time. But really I've been able to find out a lot about myself and about you know, "things" because of psychedelics. I can just peel back all the excess layers of myself and lay that real self out right in front of me to ponder over. Whenever Eric and I trip together, it plays out in the same way. It's like we deviate into this little side-world and act out this play. It always involves him on the bed and me on the floor, he coaxing me to come on the bed with him while I laugh and tell him how cute he is. I miss him.<br /><br />A LOT A LOT A LOT :( <br /><br />Goodnight, or maybe not yet, as I'm drinking and I'll probably end up thinking "OMG LJ i haven't updayyyytid in like FOREVER!!!! :D :D :D" urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dj_dopey:4263 2006-11-24T04:28:41Z 2006-11-24T04:34:18Z So my parents have locked themselves in the living room to discuss me. They're using their serious whisper voices so I know it's bad. Thus, I have taken great pleasure in filling out this wonderfully long and very telling survey. :) I particularly like the Honesty/Crime section. :D <br /><br /><br /><a name="cutid1"></a> <br /><br /><br /><br />[ ] I am shorter then 5'3<br />[X] I think I'm ugly. <br />[X] I have many scars.<br />[X] I tan easily.<br />[ ] I wish my hair was a different color. <br />[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color. <br />[ ] I have a tattoo.<br />[X]I am self-conscious about my appearance.<br />[X] I have/had braces.<br />[ ] I wear glasses.<br />[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100 safe, free of cost, and scar-free.<br />[ ] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.<br />[X] I have more than 2 piercings.<br />[ ] I have piercings in places besides my ears.<br /><br /><br />Family/Home Life //♥<br /><br />[ ] I've sworn at my parents.<br />[ ] I've run away from home.<br />[X] I've been kicked out of the house<br />[X] My biological parents are together.<br />[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.<br />[X] I want to have kids someday.<br />[ ] I've had children.<br />[ ] I've lost a child. &lt;-- wtf? what kind of person would put that on a survey? I guess they just want to know that somewhere, someone's past tragedies are resurfacing? <br /><br /><br />School/Work //♥<br /><br />[X] I'm in school. I guess so... :(<br />[ ] I have a job<br />[X] I've fallen asleep at work/school.<br />[ ] I almost always do my homework. <br />[X] I've missed a week or more of school. <br />[ ] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.<br />[X] I failed more than 1 class last year.<br />[X] I've stolen something from my job. <br />[ ] I've been fired.<br /><br />Embarrassment //♥<br /><br />[ ] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.<br />[X] Disney movies still make me cry.<br />[X] I've peed from laughing.<br />[X] I've snorted while laughing.<br />[X] I've laughed so hard I've cried.<br />[X] I've glued my hand to something.<br />[X] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose. Soup, actually. Yeah it hurt. <br />[ ] I've had my pants rip in public <br /><br />Health //♥<br /><br />[ ] I was born with a disease/impairment. <br />[X] I've gotten stitches.<br />[X] I've broken a bone. <br />[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.<br />[ ] I've sat in a doctors office with a friend.<br />[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.<br />[ ] I had a serious surgery. <br />[X] I've had chicken pox.<br /><br /><br />Traveling //♥<br /><br />[X]i've driven over 200 miles in one day.<br />[X] I've been on a plane.<br />[X]I've been to Canada.<br />[X] I've been to Mexico.<br />[X] I've been to Niagara Falls.<br />[ ] I've been to Japan.<br />[ ]I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.<br />[X]I've been to Europe.<br />[ ] I've been to Africa.<br />[X] I've been to the Eifel Tower<br /><br /><br />Experiences //♥<br /><br />[X] I've gotten lost in my city.<br />[X] I've seen a shooting star. <br />[X] I've wished on a shooting star.<br />[X] I've seen a meteor shower.<br />[X] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.<br />[X] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator<br />[X] I've kicked a guy where it hurts.<br />[X] I've been to a casino.<br />[ ] I've been skydiving<br />[ ] I've gone skinny dipping.<br />[X] I've played spin the bottle. <br />[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour<br />[ ] I've crashed a car. <br />[X] I've been Skiing<br />[X] been in a play.<br />[X] I've met someone in person from the internet.<br />[X] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.<br />[X] I've seen the Northern Lights.<br />[X] I've sat on a roof top at night.<br />[X] I've played chicken.<br />[X] I've played a prank on someone.<br />[X] I've ridden in a taxi.<br />[X] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.<br />[X] I've eaten Sushi.<br />[X] I've been snowboarding. <br /><br /><br />Relationships //♥<br /><br />[ ]I'm single<br />[X]I'm in a relationship.<br />[ ] I'm engaged. pretty much?<br />[ ] I'm married.<br />[ ]I've gone on a blind date.<br />[ ] I've been the dumper more than the dumped.<br />[X] I miss someone right now.<br />[ ] I have a fear of abandonment.<br />[ ]I've cheated in a relationship.<br />[ ] I've gotten divorced<br />[X] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.<br />[ ]I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.<br />[ ] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.<br />[X]I've kept something from a past relationship.<br /><br /><br />Sexuality //♥<br /><br />[X] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex<br />[X] I've had a crush on a teacher.<br />[X] I am a cuddler.<br />[X] I've been kissed in the rain.<br />[X]I've hugged a stranger.<br />[X] I've hooked up.<br />[X] I've had sex.<br />[X] I've kissed a stranger.<br /><br /><br />Honesty/Crime //♥<br /><br />[X] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't<br />[X] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.<br />[X] I've snuck out of my house/friends house.<br />[X] I have lied to my parents about where I am.<br />[ ] I am keeping a secret from the world. <br />[X] I've cheated while playing a game.<br />[X] I've cheated on a test.<br />[X] I've run a red light.<br />[ ] I've been suspended from school.<br />[ ] I've witnessed a crime.<br />[ ] I've been in a fist fight.<br />[ ] I've been arrested.<br />[X] I've shoplifted. <br /><br /><br />Drugs/Alcohol //♥<br /><br />[X] I've consumed alcohol.<br />[X] I regularly drink.<br />[ ] I've passed out from drinking.<br />[ ] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months<br />[X] I've smoked weed, and I think it is good for mankind <br />[X] I've smoked cigarettes/cigars <br />[X] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.<br />[X] I've inhaled Nitrous.<br />[X] I've done hard drugs.<br />[X] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.<br />[ ] I can't swallow pills.<br />[X] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem<br />[X] I have been diagnosed with depression.<br />[ ] I take anti-depressants.<br />[X]I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.<br />[X]I've woken up crying. <br /><br /><br />Death and Suicide //♥<br /><br />[ ] I'm afraid of dying.<br />[X] I hate funerals.<br />[X] I've seen someone dying.<br />[ ] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.<br />[ ] Someone close to me has committed suicide.<br />[ ] I've planned my own suicide.<br />[ ] I've attempted suicide.<br />[ ] I've written a eulogy for myself.<br /><br />Materialism //♥<br /><br />[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.<br />[X] I own an iPod or MP3 player.<br />[ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.<br />[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.<br />[ ] I own something from Hot Topic.<br />[ ] I own something from Pac Sun.<br />[ ] I collect comic books.<br />[X] I own something from The Gap.<br />[ ] I own something I got on e-bay.<br />[ ] I own something from Abercrombie.<br /><br />Random //♥<br /><br />[ ]I can sing well.<br />[ ] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant. <br />[ ] I open up to others easily.<br />[X] I watch the news.<br />[X] I don't kill bugs.<br />[ ] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the of being able to rhyme.<br />[X] I curse regularly.<br />[ ] I sing in the shower.<br />[ ] I am a morning person. <br />[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.<br />[ ] I am a sports fanatic.<br />[X] i twirl my hair<br />[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name<br />[X] i love being neat<br />[ ] I love Spam<br />[X] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day<br />[X] I bake well.<br />[X] I would wear pajamas to school.<br />[ ] I like Martha Stewart.<br />[ ] I know how to shoot a gun.<br />[X] I am in love<br />[ ] i am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.<br />[X] I laugh at my own jokes.<br />[ ] I eat fast food weekly<br />[ ] I believe in ghosts.<br /><br />[ ] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.<br />[X] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.<br />[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.<br />[X] I am really ticklish.<br />[X] I love white chocolate.<br />[ ] I bite my nails<br />[ ] I play video games.<br />[X] I'm good at remembering faces.<br />[X] I'm good at remembering names<br />[X] I'm good at remembering dates.<br />[ ] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. I have lots of ideas, but nothing will work out.<br /><br />[X] My answers are totally honest<br /><br /><br /> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dj_dopey:3843 2006-11-22T05:12:13Z 2006-11-22T05:12:13Z It's often hilarious to watch guys put on sunscreen or lip balm. They just don't get it! Smear, smear, rub, rub, squish, drip. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dj_dopey:3658 2006-11-16T04:39:33Z 2006-11-16T04:39:33Z I'm here in Philly visiting Eric. Right now I'm getting drunk by myself in his room while everyone else is having a party in the living room because I'm so horribly socially reclusive lately. I thought I was getting better but in fact I'm declining rapidly and nobody even notices. Eric's the only one who notices anything and now thanks to my blabber mouth he thinks I'm a basket case. Well actually I'm just in a bad mood; we actually had a pretty great conversation about things, most especially my eating. He kind of knew before...I had told him that I was diagnosed blah blah when i was 15 and that I still was a a bit messed up like that but we talked for hours and hours and hours last night about it and he really understands it now. He's definitely the first non eating disordered person who's ever even approached the issue from the right angle. He's so cute, he's trying to help me do "healthy fasts"! :) He suggested not eating for 5 days and then eating just fruit for 2 days and repeating it. Before last night he'd always be like HAVE YOU EATEN ANYTHING YET TODAY?? But now that we talked he almost cried because he felt so guilty for saying things like that. :( He's the best. <br /><br />Beer number 3, and I'm still typing without mistakes! Oh Christ I just realized how shitty I am. Again. I think I'm fine with just staying in here all night getting sloppy. At least the bathroom's close. And at least my music is so much fucking better than theirs. Win win! <br /><br />Love,<br />Erica urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dj_dopey:3564 2006-11-07T03:48:57Z 2006-11-07T03:48:57Z well i don't know why i love you like i do<br />nobody in the world can get along with you<br />you got the ways of a devil sleeping in a lion's den<br />i came home last night you wouldn't even let me in<br /><br />well sometimes you're as sweet as anybody want to be<br />when you get a crazy notion of jumpin all over me<br />well you give me the blues i guess you're satisfied<br />an' you give me the blues i wanna lay down and die<br /><br />i helped you when you had no shoes on your feet, pretty mama<br />i helped you when you had no food to eat<br />you're the kind of woman i just don't understand<br />you're takin all my money and give it to another man<br /><br />well you're the kinda woman makes a man lose his brain<br />you're the kinda woman drives a man insane<br />you give me the blues, i guess you're satisfied<br />you give me the blues, i wanna lay down and die<br /><br />well you give me the blues, i wanna lay down and die urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dj_dopey:3116 2006-11-07T01:54:06Z 2006-11-07T01:54:06Z Hello my lovelies!<br /><br />I just thought you all should know that I'm seeing my fucking boyfriend for the first time since June in THREE FUCKING DAYS. Fuck yes. My mind is definitely not going to be here until I'm there, if that makes sense. I have a large pile of shit to do before then, and I can almost guarantee that I will suspend reality until I land in Philly and end up not getting any of it done. Hell, a few days is nothing...I've done it for months before. Hah, I just remembered a time in grade 2 when my teacher accused me of cheating because I spelled all my words right. I decided to make a deliberate mistake to make her like me so I spelled the word "months" like "monthes" and then crossed out the e like I had figured it out. It worked. <br /><br />A9OE83YQ312OY8ay983@#^Q#TE I'm so giddily excited to visit Eric. He's the first person who has ever really known me and he's the fucking love of my life and it's not fair that we can only see each other a few times a year. I want to punch the wall but instead I'll eat the rest of this brownie. Cos dats how anaz deel with der problemz! Well if I'm horrible enough to have binged all week before seeing him the very least I can do is not eat Wednesday and Thursday so I won't look like a starving African child. Who is fat. :( <br /><br />Key lime pie,<br />Erica urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dj_dopey:2970 2006-11-06T05:29:35Z 2006-11-06T05:29:35Z Do you ever wonder about the girls written about in poems and sung about in songs? They always sound so lovely and interesting and worthy of love and other nice things. I want to know if they're real and who they're friends with. What music do they listen to, what do they wear and what do they do in the evenings? <br /><br />This makes me sad. Why can't I be cool and interesting and worth something? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dj_dopey:2805 2006-11-03T04:18:11Z 2006-11-03T04:18:11Z I was tagged by <span class='ljuser ljuser-name_aching_to_be' lj:user='aching_to_be' style='white-space: nowrap;'><a href='http://aching-to-be.livejournal.com/profile'><img src='http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif' alt='[info]' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /></a><a href='http://aching-to-be.livejournal.com/'><b>aching_to_be</b></a></span><br /><br />List five songs that you currently love. It doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions, the artists, and the songs in your blog. Then tag five other Livejournal friends to see what they're listening to.<br /><br />1. Arlo Guthrie - The City of New Orleans<br />mothers with their babes asleep, rocking to the gentle beat <br />and the rhythm of the rails is all they feel<br /><br />2. Grateful Dead - Goin' Down the Road Feelin' Bad<br />goin where the water tastes like wine...duh<br /><br />3. Nick Drake - Bryter Layter <br />because it sounds like Sims music!<br /><br />4. Paul Simon - Under African Skies<br />because it makes me want to go to Africa and sleep in a tree and draw manes on lion children. <br /><br />5. The Seldom Scene - The Fields Have Turned Brown<br />because I like bluegrass, shut the fuck up.<br /><br />I tag: nobody, because I'm not popular! :D urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dj_dopey:2486 2006-11-01T04:21:10Z 2006-11-01T04:21:10Z The other night Sam and I had a sort of hippie night filled with fun. We ate at the Naam, smoked some pot, and went to see The U.S. vs John Lennon. The content was sweet and the interviews were well done but I didn't really like the layout of the documentary. It was in weird chunks and I kept thinking it was over but it wasn't. The actual conclusion was kind of dismal. Good music though, of course, and there were so many cute scenes of John and Yoko just sitting around looking adoringly at each other. <br /><br />Made me miss Eric. I have my plane ticket to visit him in two weeks! So I win! Fucking finally. We haven't seen each other since the beginning of the summer. Stuff's weird....we've been together for about a year but we've been physically apart for ten months. All of our money goes towards 600 dollar plane tickets and ridiculous phone bills. I'm becoming one of those people I hate who overuse the word ridiculous. <br /><br />I wish I had a sexy accent. And sexy hair. In order to achieve these, I will eat several caramilks. <br /><br />Love, chocolate and music,<br />Erica urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dj_dopey:2222 2006-10-28T05:17:29Z 2006-10-28T05:17:29Z I've decided that I want to be a chef at some point in my life. Hopefully soon. I realized that there aren't a whole lot of things that I love to do more than cook a big meal or make a delectably fancy dessert. I'd love to go to the Pacific Institute and take their year long course, but it costs 12,500. What the fuck. Seriously, just thinking about cooking yummy food and getting paid for it tickles my fancy. <br /><br />Having a cooking show would be so fucking tubular. My boyfriend Eric and I once got up in the middle of the night and cooked fettucini alfredo in our underwear and came up with the idea of a cooking/sex show. Cause like, things have to cook/fry/chill etc, and what's better to kill time than fooling around? It'd probably have to be on Showcase rather than Food Network, and it probably wouldn't air before two in the morning, but whatevs. <br /><br />ps. Why is Mischa Barton such an appalling actor? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dj_dopey:1863 2006-10-27T03:52:55Z 2006-10-27T03:52:55Z Hey buddies,<br /><br />I'm sitting in my basement munching on polski ogorkie pickles (they're chopped in quarters because they're very large) and wishing that all of my grateful dead music didn't just mysteriously refuse to play. How am I ever going to get back in the zooone? My sister always makes fun of me when I listen to jam bands because apparently when played loud they put you "in the zooone". My boyfriend just fell asleep on the phone. It's actually adorable because I can hear him breathing really slowly. A minute ago he was sleep talking about mustard. We're definitely meant to be together forever because I'm dipping my pickles in dijon right this second. :)<br /><br />Doesn't it blow when you've just binged and gained weight and feel shitty about yourself....and someone tells you "oh, you've lost weight!" or "you look great!". Because obviously I don't and I'm a such a shitwad for eating so much. Oddly, my mom told me to stop losing weight. Normally she's always on my case about being too fat and is constantly telling me to "go anorexic again". She said I should try to maintain the weight I'm at now which is something awful like 115. It's weird because at the end of the summer, after I went from 130 to 105, she told me I could stand to lose a few more pounds. Gnarly. <br /><br />This weekend is Paul's Garage. I'm going to get trashed off my fanny and show up after everyone else is even more le drunk. Should make for some hilarious photographs. After what I've heard about Megan, I'm praying that she'll make a screaming drunk slut of herself. I'll await, crouching, camera in hand. I love how empathetic and sensitive I am. <br /><br />Peace out motha pluckas! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dj_dopey:1714 2006-10-26T23:30:15Z 2006-10-26T23:30:15Z WEEE I got my Skatalites ticket today! Going with my mate Samwise the Brave. I sort of realized that I have very few friends. I have compiled a list of a few questions for you all: <br /><br />1. Why on earth is German food so disgusting? <br />2. Why is Heidi Klum not fat?<br />3. Why is the third ingredient in digestive cookies animal lard?<br />4. Why did scrunchies go out of style? <br />5. Should I eat another Wagon Wheel? <br /><br />ps. Please answer in less than the time it takes to open the wrapper. Thanks! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dj_dopey:1320 2006-10-26T23:22:04Z 2006-10-26T23:22:04Z I actually had a good day today. Whenever I have a good day it's all because of what I've observed or watched or read or heard. Things that are completely objective before they're given substance by the person reading or listening to them. They're just letters on a page or coloured gloop on canvas before your brain mushes it all up together and you think "sweet". My mood for the past few years has been based entirely on outside things...no overriding theme. I want a theme!! <br /><br />Watched Hard Candy, a kick ass movie with only two characters set almost entirely in a house. The acting was phenomenal and the girl is so hot. I need to look like her and get her haircut. Except I'm not super pale skinned and dark haired and I do not have a face that could support such a boyish haircut. I realized as I was watching it that I was wearing the exact same clothing as she was - american eagle ragged jeans, black converse, and a grey tank top. So I felt cool for a little while. I want her lips. ON MAH BOOTAY!<br /><br />Listened to a copious amount of Bob Dylan today. Wished he was my boyfriend. Or my dad or brother, but not all three at once, and no two at once either. Thanks.<br /><br />Well, sometimes I might get drunk<br />Walk like a duck and smell like a skunk<br />Don't hurt me none, don't hurt my pride<br />Cause I got my little lady right by my side<br />(She's tryin' a hide,<br />Pretendin' she don't know me)<br /><br />I think that's just plain adorable. Love is the best. Yeah, I never told you I was eloquent. I have no idea what it'd be like to love someone who didn't love you back. I imagine it'd feel something like your body crumbling from the inside out. Crumbling like the Dad's cookie I just ate. :( urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dj_dopey:1140 2006-10-26T03:48:05Z 2006-10-26T03:48:05Z dOeS AnY1 wAnT 2 HaVe An AnA cOmPeTiTiOn? dA wInNeR gEtS cRoWnEd PRINCESS ANA BONEZ!!! <br /><br />rUlEz:<br /><br />1. nO fOoD<br />2. No LyKwIdZ<br />3. 1sT 1 2 pAsS oUt WINZ! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dj_dopey:908 2006-10-25T06:17:06Z 2006-10-25T06:17:06Z I am presently sitting naked in my room in the dark with candles burning, listening to Bob Marley, slathering lotion all over my skin, praying to my sweet lord that I won't absorb all the calories and disappoint my bosom friend Ana. She's going to make me beautiful, you know. <br /><br />Love, piece and bones! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dj_dopey:713 2006-10-25T03:11:11Z 2006-10-25T03:11:11Z I cried today. No, not because of world hunger or war or heartbreak, but BECAUSE I ATE TOO MANY RAISINS. That's right. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dj_dopey:408 2006-10-25T01:29:46Z 2006-10-25T01:29:46Z Hello friends,<br /><br />Well okay, I guess I don't have any friends yet. But it's because I just signed up for live journal, not because I'm antisocial, unlikeable, pathetic or reclusive. Duh. Watch me update this shit every day. <br /><br />I wish I couldn't predict my behaviour so easily. I wish I could be more like people I read about in books. People who do things. Thinking and dreaming and wishing isn't enough - what's the point of using up the earth's atomic mass if you're not going to do anything or affect anyone or contribute something? I can absolutely see myself in ten years, watching the same channels on tv and reading shitty magazines and wishing I had an exciting, dynamic life. <br /><br />There's so much I want to do. If my life were a book waiting to be written, thus far I'd have a collection of special words and phrases, maybe even a paragraph that I knew I would include somewhere down the road. Who am I kidding, it wouldn't be a book, it'd fucking be a copy of Us Weekly. <br /><br />But what does it even matter? When people I know look at me, they see a sullen, immature, insensitive girl who has no desires or passions. Just a girl who hates everything and eats too much. She'll probably just end up at Starbucks. I guess it's because I'd rather sit alone at home and give one word answers when my parents ask me how I'm doing or what I've accomplished that day. But whatever. What's really important is that I want a pet monkey. <br /><br />Somebody feed me bleach.